Undermined Endearment Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Two weeks later she walked into a quiet house. She sighed, things had been complicated with her and Bo. As much as she knew he loved her and this baby, she could still feel the wall between them.

Part of it was her, deep inside her there was a nagging doubt. Doubt that came from his affair. Before that she never would have ever believed he would have betrayed her, now she had a small voice worrying he would leave her and this baby behind. She knew it was an irrational fear, but it was there.  She ran her hands through her hair, she feared what would happen when they finally informed Blake. She didn’t even want to think about it, it scared her so much. She was brought out her thoughts by a noise, she looked upstairs. Bo must have been home, she couldn’t believe he didn’t call her name when she came home.

She walked upstairs.
“Bo?”
“Just a minute honey.”
“Why are you in the guest room?”
She opened the door and stopped dead in her tracks. She felt her mouth gaped open as she took in the sight. She saw Bo walk out of the closet with the corner of her eye.
“What do think?”
She put her hands on her chest. She looked at the clouds on the ceiling, then the beautiful soft yellow walls, surround the amazingly gorgeous crib and changing table. Then she noticed a rocking chair in the corner.

“Bo? Is that Asa’s?”
He smiled and walked over to the chair.

“Yeah, he got it for my mother when she had me.”
She looked over at her husband, her little doubts disappearing at the moment.

“Bo this beautiful, when did you have time?”
“I’ve been working on secretly when I knew you’d be out. So you like it?”
She looked over at him, her emotions taking over. All she could do was nod. Bo walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. She held him tight.

“I want our child to have everything Red, I thought a nursery was a good place to start.”
“I am sorry Bo.”
He pulled out of the hug and gave her a questioning look.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because I feel like I’ve been keeping up a wall with you. I can’t help it, I still have small doubts.”

Bo cupped her face.

“Oh Red, it isn’t just you. I am just as guilty. I have doubts too honey. I fear you are just going to decide that I am not worth it and just raise the baby with Blake.”
“Bo I’d never do that.”
“I know! It is unfounded, but it is there.”
He kissed her.

“Red, lets make a pact right and now.”
“What?”
“We tell each other all our doubts from now on, no matter how hard or painful it may be. We need to get this all out and dealt with before the baby comes.  It is only going to get harder, especially when Blake gets involved, we need to be completely honest with each other.”
She knew he was right. She took a deep breath and nodded.

“You’re right. Bo I am scared that I am not enough, that you’ll just decide that this baby is too hard and leave me alone.” She could see the pain in eyes, she put her hand on his face. “I know you won’t, but I have this voice in my head, a small irrational voice that keeps telling that you’ll leave me.”

She saw Bo swallow as he fought his tears. He tried to talk several times. Nora found herself fight tears. Bo cleared his throat.

“Red I will NEVER leave you or this baby. Even if the worst happened and I lost you, I would be heartbroken, but I’d raise this baby with nothing but unwavering love. This baby is part you and for that reason I will love her, even if she is someone elses.”

Nora sniffled. The tears were flowing freely from both her Bo.

“I know Bo, I know that you’ll be a wonderful father to this baby and I don’t know what I or you can do to get rid of this doubt. You have proven over and over you are here for me and the baby. I think it will take time.”
Bo sadly nodded.
“I understand.”
Their foreheads meet as they held to each other. Bo pulled back and kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you for telling me the truth, we need to just keep doing this.” He sighed. “Lets head downstairs.”
Nora kissed his cheek.

“You go down and get ready, I just want to take a few more minutes and look at the beautiful room my husband created for our child.”
He gave her wide smile filled with pride.

“It is pretty amazing. I expect you down there in five minutes.”
Bo turned around and left. Nora looked at the nursery, there were so many beautiful details. The little voice popped up in her head.

“You know what little voice, you need to shut up, because look at this.”
Then she closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Great now I am talking to myself.”

She felt her heart swell with joy as she walked out of the room.